


Against all odds: The boy is mine

by ptarn



Series: Down a dark path [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Genre: Abuse, Abuse of Authority, Alternate Universe, Angst, Child Abuse, Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, Don't Have to Know Canon, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gallifrey, Hate, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Love, M/M, Memories, Murder, Physical Abuse, Romance, Running
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 03:52:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/617780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ptarn/pseuds/ptarn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We've read about how the Doctor remembers the events from his childhood that lead him to leave Gallifrey. However, that wasn't the whole story. There's a second player involved, a young man by the name of Koschei Oakdown (who we all know as the Master), and this is his story, his view of things, of how he met, fell in love, and eventually gave up everything he had or could've had for a boy - a man - by the name of Theta Lungbarrow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Against all odds: The boy is mine

**Author's Note:**

> This story is written from the Master's point of view, and it's a companion-piece to one written fromt the Doctor's point of view ("Against all odds").  
> Both stories are part of my 'Into the darkness'-series, in which the Doctor makes a few decisions that'll lead him down a very dark path indeed...

I remember the scent of violta’s when I think about you. It was the first day of their blooming season when I stole a kiss. I took you with me, far away from the Academy, to a shadowy corner of the large meadow that stretched out behind the ugly buildings. The air was heavy with their perfume when I pushed you against the bark of one of the Shining Trees and I put my lips on yours, only for a moment. I didn’t know how you’d react so I stepped back, searching your eyes for the first sign of rejection, as fear raced through my veins. Instead you merely smiled and relaxed, your whole body beckoning me to come closer, so I did. My lips met yours for the second time and I placed my hands on your chest, one above each of your hearts. They were beating so fast, in unison with mine. I smiled at you when I gave us both time to breathe. Every kiss that followed that first one was made even sweeter by the fact that we were forbidden to even talk to each other.

Before that day, in spite of our families never getting along, at times in the past even feuding with one another, we’d been friends ever since the first time our eyes met. When both of us entered the Academy I was the one who came up with the idea of doing the other’s homework for classes we weren’t good at. You always tried to be the good student, whereas I didn’t see any sense in being bored to death by listening to teachers who knew less about certain subjects than either you or I did. In time I convinced you to skip boring classes with me and it didn’t take me long to show you how much fun it was to play pranks on the adults. I never even minded it when we got caught. As long as were in trouble together I didn’t mind at all.

After that day, after that first, amazing, stolen kiss, we became inseperable. Soon the whole Academy was buzzing with the news of our so-called ‘scandalous’ relationship. We managed to keep it hidden from both our families at first, but it was not to be. And it was my fault. I prided myself on having caught you, having made you mine, even though there had been enough other suitors who’d been vying for your attention. I’d fought them off, even killed one of them by ripping out his hearts with my bare hands without any of the adults ever finding out. After that the message was clear: No one was to touch you, or even look at you, but me. So when we finally became a couple no student would so much as even think about informing either of our families. If they had I’d have hunted them down and would’ve torn them limb from limb.

My pride became our downfall. I couldn’t resist telling one of my closest friends about my victory, about having you all to myself. I told her how amazing you were, how smart, how beautiful and how it amazed me that you wanted me as well. That you didn’t reject me. My hearts were overflowing with love and pride and all I wanted was to share it with someone else. Someone I thought I could trust. That was the first time ever in my life I’d been wrong.

She told your father, who in turn told mine. The day my father found out was the day I truly learned the meaning of the word ‘hate’. He made me come downstairs, to the big dining hall. The moment I saw every member of my family standing there, waiting for me, I knew what had happened. I glared at my friend, who’d been invited by my father as a reward, already thinking of the various ways in which I could make her pay for her betrayal. She stuck out her tongue at me and gave me a fearsome grin. The doors closed behind me and I was made to walk all the way to the other side of the room under the watchful, eager eyes of my bloodthirsty family. My father stood there, his face contorted in rage, with his whip uncoiled in his right hand. I’d never been afraid of him before, but right there, right then, I was.

I knew what was expected of me. I’d been present at occasions such as these before, but only as a spectator. I started to strip away my clothes, folding them as neatly as possible and placing them on the table behind my father. He didn’t speak, merely watched me get ready. When I stood before him, naked as the day I was born, he regarded me with his dark eyes and said two words.

“Lungbarrow filth.”

The contempt with which he spoke those words told me all I needed to know. We would never be given a chance, not ever. The hate of my family, especially my father, for yours, ran too deep. The thought of his eldest son ‘consorting’ with a Lungbarrow was nigh unforgivable. Which is why that particular beating was so severe.

There were moments I thought it would never stop, when blow after blow of his fists, combined with sharp, deep lashes of the whip, continued to rain down upon my bruised and bleeding body. When he finally stopped I was near regenerating, but I resisted. I refused to have him be the cause of my first change. I lay there on the floor, with broken bones, bleeding profusely, dizzy from the blood loss. No one stayed behind to help me after my father left the room without saying another word. After a while I managed to crawl towards a wall and use it to help myself get up. It took me a long time to make it back up to my room, where I was able to take care of myself by using the secret supply of bandages and medicines I’d been building up over the years ever since my first beating. I tried to set my bones as best as I could, knowing they’d start to heal soon. Being a Time Lord can be a hassle like that.

The next morning the pain was even worse. It felt like there wasn’t a single spot left on my whole body that didn’t hurt. And the worst part of it was that they made me clean up the trail of my own blood I’d left when I made my way to my room. The little seed of pure hate that had been planted the day before was rapidly growing into a full-grown tree. I vowed that I would one day take my revenge on every last one of the family members who’d been present during my punishment. The one thought that kept me going through the pain-filled, humiliating days and weeks that followed was that I would see you again.

When I was deemed fit enough to resume school I waited for you at the place where we’d shared our first kiss, every day, exactly one hour before the lessons would start. I’d been informed of the fact you’d received a beating as well and I hated your family all the more for daring to lay a hand on you. Then one morning you were there. I saw the lingering bruises on your face and I knew you saw the scar on mine. When our eyes met all that was forgotten. I rushed to you, wrapped my arms around you and I told you I loved you, loved you so very much. You put your arms around me as well, kissed me and whispered that you loved me too in my ear. We stood there, holding each other, oblivious to the world, letting Time pass us by, not caring about school or teachers or adults or how in the world this would end. All I cared about was you and all you cared about was me.

We decided to keep our relationship an even better guarded secret this time, so when we left for the Academy we went our separate ways. During our stay at school each day we avoided each other as best as we could, but it was hard. Every time we passed one another in a hallway we would quickly touch and all too soon I couldn’t contain myself any longer. After a particularly boring class I sought you out when you were alone in one of the sanitary areas and stole a kiss, exactly like I’d done that very first time.

It became a game, a dangerous one, to see how often we could sneak out of classes to meet up and exchange secret touches and whispered promises. Each time we said goodbye with a kiss. I knew the other students and the teachers suspected something was going on, but they never caught us. My father might have beaten the crap out of me, but living in the Oakdown household had made me a fearsome fighter and very skilled at inflicting pain on others. I made an example out of my ‘close friend’ by torturing her, killing her and spreading her remains all throughout the school. All the other students knew I’d done it, but no one said a word. You never even suspected a thing and I loved you all the more for your blissful ignorance.

 

*****

One day, after school, I took you back to that wonderful, secluded corner of the meadow where we’d kissed for the first time. When we arrived I showed you a small bag, filled with good food and fine drinks I’d taken from my family’s home the night before. As you sat down in the soft grass I sat down as well, as close to you as I could. I unpacked the food and drinks and started to talk. Soon we were telling each other about our lives, hopes and dreams. I even told you thing I’d never told anyone else, things I was ashamed about. Each time I stopped you took my hand in yours and gave me a reassuring squeeze and smile that melted my hearts. You gave me the courage to go on.

Before either of us realized it the light of the suns had faded and the copper moon shone down upon us. We fell silent, content to be in the other’s presence. But I wanted more. My hand moved closer to yours once more until my fingers were upon the back of your hand, stroking it gently. You didn’t move, didn’t speak, so I moved my whole body closer to you, until I could place a delicate little kiss on the side of your neck. You shivered ever so lightly, turned your head to look at me and gave me one of your most endearing smiles. Our eyes met and I saw that you knew what was to come. No more talking. I wanted more. You wanted more. This was the time.

Encouraged by your smile I raised on of my hands to your face and placed it on your cheek. My fingers caressed your smooth skin, traced your jawline and I couldn’t help but feel like the luckiest man alive for being the one allowed to touch you like this. I leaned into you slowly until my lips brushed yours and then I kissed you, deeply, hungrily. The soft moan you uttered in response told me all I needed to know. With my hands on your shoulders I pushed you backwards, gently, until you were laying down on the grass. With trembling fingers I started to undress you, taking my time, not wanting to rush anything. Whenever I got rid of another piece of clothing I paused, looked into your bright and eager eyes, lowered my face to your until our lips touched and kissed you. I continued this game of teasing, not allowing you to touch me in any way, until you lay naked before me. I smiled at you when you nearly begged me to be allowed to undress me and when I said you could, you undressed me far faster than I undressed you. I laughed at your eagerness and when you laid back down I straddled you, making you laugh as well.  
I said you looked beautiful like this, even more so than I ever could’ve imagined. In turn you called me magnificent over and over again. I’d never before seen you at a loss for words, unable to think of anything else. It was nothing short of adorable. My compliments made you blush and you took the next step by by pulling me to you and shutting me up by kissing me.

For the next half hour we did nothing but explore each other’s body. While you merely touched and stroked and teased me, I kissed you, nipped at your skin, your throat and at times I even scratched you. The soft yelp with which you responded to my roughness made me all the harder for you, especially when you returned the favour. Not even in my wildest dreams had I expected you to go along so willingly, but you did. How I loved you all the more for it. We continued our foreplay until the air around us was simply brimming with tension. When my tongue entwined itself with yours and you started to suck on it gently I decided enough was enough.

I tugged at your hair, forcing you to look at me and I begged, yes, _begged_ you to enter me, almost snarling at you when I said I couldn’t take any more of this teasing. You gave me one of your cheeky winks and said you thought I’d never ask. The next five minutes consisted of lots of giggling, disappointed grunts and after the final clumsy attempt, when we succeeded, some very satisfied groans. We didn’t even last another five minutes, ready to go as we were from the long foreplay. It was fierce, hard and divine. I think we even scared away some nosy critters with our loud cries when both of us came. I still can’t think of a better word than ‘wonderful’ to describe what we shared that night.

Afterwards I lay on your chest, enjoying the sound of your heartbeats. It was the first ever time I was able to drown out the sound of those annoying drums that had been inside my head ever since I gazed into the Untempered Schism. I’d told you about them and all you could say was that you’d never heard such a sound, but believed me nonetheless. I think that was the moment I truly fell in love with you. You were the only person ever to believe me without needing proof, to just take my word for it. I trailed lazy circles around your nipple as you licked some of my seed from your fingers and told me I tasted wonderful. It seemed both our minds were unable to come up with other words. You closed your eyes and I closed mine. I was sure you were doing exactly the same thing I was doing as I inhaled your scent, memorized it, memorized every little detail about our first night together, about the way your naked body felt underneath mine.

When I got back to my room the adrenaline was still rushing through my body. I was literally high on love and as a result I couldn’t get to sleep. After tossing and turning in my bed for a while I got up, made sure the door to my room was still locked and walked over to the part of my wall that hid a secret compartment, concealed by a perception filter and a chameleon field, both designed by me. I’d secured it with an isomorphic field that was linked to a contained explosion, set to go off as soon as someone who was not me tried to break into it. I deactivated the field and the filter and did a quick check of the items inside. A personal shield emitter. A universal translator. A pair of Rekkalian blades, custom made. An extensive collection of all sorts of other nasty weapons, ranging from miniature explosives to hunter drones. Amidst all this lay the one thing I hoped I’d never have to use, the final solution, when there would be no more hope for me. I made sure it was all still in working order, put everything back and got back to bed. The simple task of checking on my hidden weapons had calmed down my hearts and I fell asleep fairly fast.

The next morning I had to do my best to not let anyone notice how happy I was, but it was so very had. From the moment we saw each other again on the Academy grounds it was impossible for us to keep away from each other. Where before we had stolen glances, touches and kisses, now we snuck away as often as we could to relive that glorious moment wherever and whenever the opportunity presented itself. There were times I could hardly restrain the urge to just throw  you against a nearby wall and kiss you passionately when I passed you in a hallway, but I did. Even so, people started to notice the looks we gave each other when we thought no one was watching. We sat next to each other in class once more. I should’ve known it would only be a matter of time before word of us reached the Headmaster, and through him reached our families. I should’ve been more alert, more careful. I still blame myself for what happened next.

That afternoon we’d skipped our last class so we could spend more time together to celebrate that day, one year ago, when I stole that first, sweet kiss. As we walked to that same, secluded corner of the meadow the scent of violta’s was heavy in the air. You smiled at me, I smiled at you. In the silence we shared your eager fingers stripped away layer after layer of my clothes, then they caressed the exposed skin of my lean body as I did the same. You ran your hands over my back, touching my scars, as I held you close and touched yours. It was a mutual acknowledgment of what we’d endured to be together, an affirmation of our deep and profound love. We sank to our knees, our movements becoming increasingly more frantic.

This time it was you who laid me down on the grass so you could sit atop me. The grass tickled my back and I laughed softly. You placed gentle kisses on my throat as you ran your nimble fingers down my spine, making me shiver with pleasure. You guided me, letting me enter you, and both of us moaned in delight as we started to move in unison, our bodies, even our minds, becoming as one. The next moment you cried out in pain and you were being dragged away, then something threw you against a nearby tree. I cried out in shock, not understanding what was happening, until I saw the enraged face of the Headmaster loom over me as his hand struck me across the face, making me yell out in pain. They’d found out about us.

What followed can only be described as a living Hell and I can only imagine how much harder it must’ve been on you than it was on me. I’d grown used to severe beatings, my body could take a lot of punishment. But you… It had taken you a lot longer to recuperate from the previous ordeal. I wanted to help you, but he was so strong. He beat us both to within an inch of our lives and for the second time in a year I could feel how the regenerative energy wanted to come forward, to take me away, to change me. Again I resisted. I hoped you could do the same.

After we’d been taken back to our respective Houses and handed to the Overseers I discovered that the actions of the Headmaster had been condoned by both our fathers. Once more the hate inside me grew. Both of us were cared for, nursed back to health, after which we were handed over to our fathers who proceeded to beat the crap out of us for a second time. After that, to add insult to injury, they placed us in the care of the Overseers once more, who became our private tutors. They were to watch over us, keep us from going back to the Academy until everyone involved was sure that we’d never, ever would even think about contacting each other again. And they made sure to give us every singly shitty job they could think of when were not busy with an assignment for school.

Of course they also made sure we heard all about the other’s condition and punishment. Both our families took great pleasure in describing the extent of the punishments inflicted on the other, elaborating on the exact shape and size of the wounds that were inflicted upon us, how hard both of us had screamed, how we’d cursed our own families. Every night, when I went to sleep, I let the hate burn inside me, letting it consume any remaning positive feelings I had for my family. But I never went to sleep without thinking of you at least once and my love for you grew in tandem with the hate I felt for everyone else. I didn’t care what they did for me, but I couldn’t stand knowing they were hurting you. I’d always been good at concealing my true thoughts and feelings, but after those beatings I became a true master of hiding away even the slightest hint of what was going on beneath the surface, of what I was really thinking. I became a well-adjusted member of my House at last, or so they thought. Unbeknownst to them I was already planning on a way to see you again.

One night I woke up and I knew this was the time I’d been waiting for. I opened my window and climbed down the wall, then made a mad dash for the House of your family. I’d been studying the layout of the building to extrapolate where you would be sleeping and when I pushed open your window I knew I’d come to the right room. I smelled you. I walked over to your bed, silent as a ghost, then sat down beside you, my mouth next to your ear. I whispered soft words of love into your ear until you started to wake up, then smothered any sound you wanted to make by placing my lips on yours and touching your throat with my fingers. I felt how you put your arms around me to pull me closer and for a few moments all we did was enjoy the kiss.

“Get dressed,” I whispered after I reluctantly pulled back from you, “I have to show you something. Something important.”  
You didn’t question me, didn’t demand to know what it could be, didn’t even protest. Instead you simply nodded, got out of bed and put on your clothes. I didn’t wait for you to finish before making my way back to your window, making sure I moved as graceful as I could, if only to tease you. I wait for you to drop down to the ground, then set off at a run, sensing you following me. The copper moon shone down on the two of us, running like children, all alone underneath the night sky. Far away from everything, at the edge of both our families’ lands, I slowed down, then stopped and reached for your hands. I smile at you, not saying a word, and led you to what was soon to be our secret. When I opened the hidden door and let you step inside you started to chuckle. It was such an adorable sound. Inside it was dark, crude and it smelled of dirt, freshly cut grass and, naturally, violta’s.

I told you I’d been working on it from the moment I could walk again. It was to be a gift for you and I asked you if you liked it. You showed me how much you appreciated my gesture right then by undressing me, then undressing yourself and laying me down on the moist soil. You kissed and nipped and scratched me until I couldn’t restrain myself any longer and I took you, hard and fast and deep. After both of came, our cries muffled by the clever insulation I’d used, we waited for a bit, before I got the chance to let you know how much I missed you. Now it was me who was doing the kissing and nipping and biting and scratching, teasing you until you almost burst with lust before I allowed you to take me. This time we lasted a bit longer. We kept on making love to each other during that night of pure magic, until it we barely had any time left to make it back to our homes the next morning. It had been worth every minute.

Over the next couple of weeks we work on designing a fool-proof system to stay in touch with each other through a carefully though-out system of certain combinations of gestures. That way we could make sure that whenever we visited the little, hidden cabin no one would even suspect we weren’t where we were supposed to be. It worked like a charm. For the rest of our time at the Academy we were able to keep seeing each other without anyone finding out. I regretted the days of stolen touched and kisses being over, but what we got in return was so very, very rewarding.

 

*****

As we grew up we went our separate ways. You became a respected member of your House and I became a feared member of mine. Neither of us ever got rid of the reputation of being a troublemaker, but we didn’t mind. In my case it even helped me rise fast amongst the ranks of my House. People who dared oppose me either turned up dead, their bodies mangled beyond recognition, or they simply disappeared off the face of Gallifrey. More and more members of my family allied themselves with me, either secretly or openly, and I used my new-found power to undermine my father’s position.

Even though we were considered adults now, our families still wouldn’t allow us to be together. So, even while working on consolidating my position, I managed to find time to visit the cabin, even though those visits became rarer as the years went by. Those precious, stolen moments were the only thing that kept me sane throughout those lonely years. Every time I murdered an opponent, locked away and tortured a family member or slit the throat of a so-called friend I thought of you. I remembered your scent, your taste, how your skin felt against mine, how good it felt to have you inside me or to be inside you. Those thoughts helped me push away the sound of the drums that continued to haunt me, that made me want to kill every last one of those who ever stood in our way. But I held back. For you. Everything I did, all of it, I did it for you. So that one day we could be together without having to lie about it.

However, I was nothing if not prudent. As I worked on eroding my father’s base of power and worked on getting myself higher up the food chain, I also made sure that I had contingency plans in place. Quite a few, even. They all centered around one fact: That we would be discovered before we had a chance to change things to our advantage. During one of our visits to the cabin I told you about my preperations. You laughed softly and said that I was being pessimistic. I accused you of being a hopeless romantic, at which you laughed again and said I needed you to be. You were right, of course. However, as much as I needed you to be a hopeless romantic, you needed me to be a realist, even though you’d never admit it.

The one time I wanted to be wrong was the one time I turned out to be right. Someone had seen us together and word of our ongoing relationship spread like wildfire. Not even the loyal followers and true friends I’d gathered around me during those years of careful planning could protect us from the wrath of our combined families. So we ran. I made sure to pick up everything from my secret compartiment first, to use as a last resort if push came to shove. I didn’t tell you about my hidden weapons, because I knew you’d object. So sweet, but so very naïeve. We ran fast and we ran far, using everything we’d learned at the Academy. I utilized every resource I had at my disposal to stay one step ahead of them, but it wasn’t enough.

That faithful last night they were closing in on us. We had just taken a much-needed rest, but both of us were still panting, exhausted as we were from lack of food and sleep. Our options had been narrowed down fast during our frantic flight and we were running on empty, when suddenly I remembered one of my earlier battle plans, which was one of the few that had survived contact with the enemy. I grabbed your hand and dragged you along behind me. I knew exactly where to go and what to do.

I never believed in luck. I only believed in those who recognized and seized an opportunity and those who never would. I was one of those people who not only recognized and seized chances, I created them. I had merely forgotten about this particular chance until we had to stop and take a few moments to catch our breath. You started asking me where we were going and when I said I was taking you to one of my family’s Tech Graveyards you told me I was crazy. I smiled. I told you this one was considered ‘closed’, that it was on the list to be destroyed at some point in the near future, which, frankly, was never going to happen, because it had been here for more than a thousand years already.

As I entered the code to deactivate the localized time lock, I added, almost as it was just an afterthought, that there was also an old TARDIS inside. That got your attention, I could see it. The arc shimmered shortly shortly as Time caught up with the small patch of land. I took your hand and pulled you along with me. Inside it was dark, but I knew exactly where to go. Barely a minute later the two of us stood before an object that held the distinct shape of a type-40 TARDIS, a device you’d only ever heard about during our lessons. Most Time Lords would never get to see a TARDIS, let alone learn to pilot one.

I told you about how it was decomissioned before either of us was even born. How my family had stored it here for private use, but after two of my family members had ‘accidents’ after trying to use this TARDIS, they decided to just leave it here. The first one had ended up on my family’s doorstep, in his last regeneration, aged beyond recognition. He had said two words: Darkness inside. Then he had dropped dead, right then and there. The other one had come back after two days, as insane as they come. She’d mumbled non-stop about ‘blood in the darkness’, ‘he will come for you’ and ‘the weapon will destroy all’. I laughed. I’d always liked that last story.

Unfortunately my stories didn’t ease your nerves. If anything you became even more nervous than you already were, so I took your face in my hands and forced you to look at me. I called you gorgeous to get your attention, then explained what I wanted you to do for me, for us. You were to take the TARDIS and travel through the Time Vortex to a specific time and place in the future where I would be waiting for you. I’d stay behind and face them, tell them all sorts of lies about how you’d died during our flight and then take whatever punishment they had in store for me. I assured you I could bear it as long as I knew you would be safe, away from them.

Then you did something I hadn’t anticipated. You started to cry. It was almost enough to make me abandon my plan and stay by your side, but I knew that would the worst possible thing to do. I knew what they would do to us, to me, once they would catch up. I knew I wouldn’t survive what they had in store for me and I couldn’t bear to know you would die with me. One of us had to stay alive and it would have to be you, because I had been the cause of those beatings you received those many years ago. In order for you to get away I would face my penance and take it like a man.

You kept crying and asked me not to do it, to stay with you, that you feared for my life. That comment almost made me cry as well, but I bit back my tears. I placed a tender kiss on your lips and lied through my teeth when I assured you it would be alright. That I could handle anything they’d throw at me, as long as I was safe in the knowledge you would come for me. That part at least was true. You objected again, said you didn’t know anything about flying a TARDIS, let alone how to make sure to arrive at a certain point in time and space.

This time, when I took hold of your face, I looked you deep in the eyes, took a deep breath and told you why I had faith in you. You were the most brilliant man I’d ever met, the most wonderful, kind, caring person I could ever have hoped to meet. That you’d changed me in more ways than you’d ever know, that even though I had always been the man with a plan, you had always been the one whose sheer intelligence got us out of trouble when my plans were failing. Like you had always been one step ahead of me, even though you had never realized it. I had faith in you. I counted on you to find a way to come and get me.

I wanted to say so much more, but as the sounds outside grew louder I knew time was running out. I took a key from my pocket and pressed the activation button to turn on the chameleon circuit. The distinct, grey, column shape disappeared and suddenly there was a new pile of broken-down devices present. Before you could say or do anything other than stare at it in awe, I pressed the key into your hand and kissed you one last time, my lips lingering on yours as we breathed each other’s air, only for a moment. I memorized this moment instantly so I could use it to keep me company in the hours, maybe days that were yet to come. Without hesitation I stepped back, gave you as cheeky a wink as I could and ran off while shouting at you to meet me at the place I stole that first kiss in three days, midday exactly.

As I ran off I glanced over my shoulder to shot you a look to make sure you wouldn’t follow me. The moment I saw you turn towards the TARDIS I faced forward and kept on running, not even bothering to check if you could get the damned thing to work. I had faith in you. When I exited the Tech Graveyard I took a moment to stop and activated the time lock, with a delay of two minutes, then destroyed the pad to buy you more time to escape. I could only hope you would be able to get that TARDIS out of there before the time lock would engage once more. Now all I had to do was to wait for our enemies to catch me.

And catch me they did. As soon as they got me in their sights they started firing tranquilizer darts at me. I’d anticipated that and activated my personal shield emitter field while standing tall, showing them my most contemptuous look as they advanced on me. When they were close enough to my liking I released the first wave of hunter drones. At least a dozen people dropped dead before they had a clue as to what was happening. I didn’t wait for them to gather their wits, but took out the miniature cluster bombs, threw them up in the air and they zoomed in on tightly packed groups of my family members. When they exploded the sound of shredding flesh, combined with screams of agony, made my hearts soar. I knew my father and his ‘inner circle’ wouldn’t go down this easily, but the more I took out before they got near me, the better.

The smarter ones got their weapons out and started to shoot at me. My shield held. I released the next wave of hunter drones. This time they only took out three people before being taken out themselves. My enemy had spread out as well, so the cluster bombs were useless. Time for the heavier stuff. Without thinking about it twice I threw four time contraction arrays at them. The slender, metallic rings were almost invisible to the naked eye and they set about their job silently and efficiently. Every time they contracted around someone that person grew old so rapidly their body didn’t have time to start its regeneration. No wonder these things had been outlawed after the last Great War. Unfortunately this effect burned up their energy very fast and they lost their effectiveness after six or seven people.  
It didn’t matter. By now the remaining pursuers had gotten too close for me to use explosives or other kinds of bombs. I’d never been a fan of guns, and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to go hand-to-hand with those prejudiced, short-sighted maggots. My hands reached within my pockets and pulled out the Rakkelian blades. They caught the light of the copper moon and I could see how the eyes of the closest of my family members widened in fear. My skill with the blades was unrivaled. My shield shimmered as the barrage of bullets started to weaken, but I ignored it. I let out my most fearsome roar and jumped into the fray, my blades slicing through skin and muscles and bones and sinews effortlessly. Soon the air around me was thick with the scent of blood.The only screams I heard were those of people warning others to stay away. Everyone who met my blades died as swift a death as I could give.

My shield emitter began to overload slowly but surely as more of the remaining family members focused their fire on me. I knew I’d have to move fast if I were to get my revenge on my father. In the middle of the confusion I switched on my perception filter, effectively disappearing from sight. It wouldn’t conceal me for long, but I wouldn’t need a whole lot of time. I ran through the confused crowd to the spot I’d last seen my father. He was still there, looking out over the battlefield, probably even expecting me to seek him out.

I didn’t care. Even if he had some trick up his sleeve, I was sure I could counter it, was certain that I would come out on top. So, when I spotted him, standing atop a nearby boulder, I didn’t waste any time in making my way over to him, blades at the ready. When I reached the spot I turned off my shield emitter and called out to him in a soft voice. The moment he turned around to face me I sank both blades into his chest, just below his collar bones. I didn’t want to kill him right away. It was only when I wanted to take a step back that I saw the look on his face. He had been expecting me. Before I could react he’d grabbed me by the front of my shirt and around us a wind started to blow, accompanied by a very distinctive sound.

“NO!”

I tried to get away, but even this short after his fourth regeneration my father was still my superior in terms of strength. He had me in a iron grip as his personal TARDIS materialized around us. The blades I’d buried into his body to their hilts didn’t even phase him. I suspected he’d taken a dose of one of the many different kinds of drugs my family had been keeping hidden ever since they’d been outlawed. They could enhance our healing abilities, our mental capabilities and our strength to resemble those of a god, but at a terrible price. Over the course of many years I’d seen too many people, both good and bad, succumb to the crippling side-effects of their addictions. I’d sworn never to take them myself, not ever, but my father had made no secret of his drug use.

When the walls of his TARDIS had solidified I felt how it took off again. At first I thought he’d take me back to our home, but then we took a sharp turn and I realized where we were headed. This time I didn’t yell. All I could do was whisper.

“No…”

My father didn’t say anything, instead tightening his grip on me as he dragged me towards the door. I struggled as much as I could, but it was to no avail. The door opened of its own accord and he threw me outside. I was able to break my fall and got to my feet as fast as I could. My hearts sank. There it was. The stuff of Time Lord nightmares. The thing that made us grow up the moment we looked into it. Confined by an intricately carved circle of cleverly placed temporal locks the Untempered Schism looked at me. Yes, it looked at me. I was sure it recognized me. Me, the only Time Lord to ever gaze into it and get something in return. The drums. The everlasting beat of four that at times had threatened to drive me insane. I’d vowed to never return here and now my father had broken my vow for me.

While I stood there, frozen in place by my memories of that day, a sharp blow to my head made me fall to my knees. I turned around and expected to see my father, but it wasn’t him. It was my eldest brother, who’d always hated me from the moment he’d laid eyes on me. I looked around me and saw that I was surrounded by the people who hated me the most. My father, my brother, several cousins, two aunts, an uncle and the Overseer of my family’s House. Their eyes showed me they had murder in mind. I scrambled to my feet again and activated my shield, only to find it had been disabled, probably during my short flight in the TARDIS.

So this was it. I was going to die at the hands of the very people I vowed to kill, probably beaten to death if their chilling smiles were anything to go by. They advanced on me and I saw how my father removed my blades from his body without even wincing. I snarled at them, determined to cripple at least one of them until his or her next regeneration. Without warning they attacked me.  
In the first few minutes of the one-sided fight I was able to draw blood on multiple occasions, either by breaking facial bones or scratching at every piece of exposed skin I saw. But I was alone. They were with many. When I felt my knee shatter after a particularly vicious kick I knew I’d lost. I gave up on trying to hurt them and focused on protecting myself as best as possible. Blow after blow rained down upon me. Bone after bone shattered, vessel after vessel ruptured and one of the sharp punches that came from my brother made my left heart stutter and stop. I started to wheeze when soon thereafter one of my lungs collapsed and I coughed up blood. I think I lost consciousness once or twice, but each time I woke up again.

Just when I was sure the final blow would come, after which I was sure to receive a bullet to my head to stop me from regenerating, the beating stopped. Deep within me I felt how that strange energy was lying in wait, ready to start the profound change that would make me into a new man, but, like before, I pushed it back. I opened my eyes and searched for the face of my father. He was kneeling in front of me, his face devoid of any emotion. I thought he was going to lecture me, but he did no such thing. Instead he reached for me, then stood up and dragged my battered body behind him. I felt the hypnotizing, terrifying song of the Untempered Schism growing in strength. It was then that I realized what he was going to do to me.  
I mustered up every last ounce of strenght I still had in me to try and break free from his grap, but both the pain and my various wounds stopped me from putting up any serious resistance. He dropped me to the ground right in front of the Untempered Schism. Its song buzzed within my mind, drawing out the beat of four, which threatened to overtake my senses. I tried to scream, but all that came out of me was a pitiful, soft wail. I tried to get up, but all I managed was to lift myself from the ground on my one unbroken arm so I could gaze up at my father.  
That’s when he started to speak. He told me he’d brought me here, because clearly this was the place where my madness had started. The strange sound I’d told him about was, to him, the cause of my stubborn defiance of everything he’d ever forbidden me from doing. In his mind the sound of drums, the beat of four inside my head, was the reason for me being unlike the rest of my family. He said that he hoped me gazing into the Schism a second time might cure me and if not, he’d deal with me right there and then.  
I listened to him explain his crazy little theory to me, then started to laugh. Softly at first, but ever louder until my whole body shook with laughter. It hurt like hell, but still I kept on laughing. When he kicked me in my ribs to shut me up, demanding I’d tell him what I thought was so funny, I coughed a few times, then spat my blood at his feet. I smiled when I answered him. The sound hadn’t driven me insane, if anything it had kept me sane. Each time I saw someone commit an atrocity the beat of four had risen in volume and thus I knew that it was the sound of my insanity. So I chose to use it as an early warning sign, learning to control it or ignore it as I saw fit. The day I gazed into the Schism was the day I was freed of our family’s curse. Sure, I was ruthless, even vicious at times, but I never killed without a reason, never murdered someone for my own pleasure. That beat of four had been my salvation.

After my explanation I laughed again, which sent my father into a frothing rage. His fists and feet came down on my bleeding, broken body time after time, yet still I laughed. Each kick shoved me closer to the humming circle. I could feel how Time, untempered, untamed, started to pull at my soul. Suddenly my father picked me up from the ground and spat in my face. Told me I wasn’t his son any more. I merely grinned and gave him a look of utter contempt. I said I’d never wanted to be his son anyway, not after I discovered the horrible things he’d done in his life.

That was the last drop. He cursed my name, then yelled at me that he’d make sure I would be lost in Time forever, that I would cease to exist, that I would never have been born. He threatened to throw me into the Untempered Schism, effectively erasing me from existence. For a moment I was quiet as I used the hand of my injured arm to take hold of the device in my pocket that held my final solution. Then I spoke to him, softly, so no one else would hear it.

“If that means that I will never have had you as my father, I welcome it.”

And I laughed at him so hard my throat hurt. His face turned red at my defiance and with a mighty roar he threw me at the Untempered Schism. I never stopped laughing while my fingers entered the code to prime the device for use. I waited for the moment I could feel my body enter the Schism, then activated it. The whole world turned white as I got whisked away through Time and Space to an unknown destination.

 

*****

See, I may be a ruthless, vicious killer when I need to be, but I’m not a fool. I would have given my life to make sure you were safe, but the moment you activated the TARDIS the game changed. From that moment on it wasn’t my intention to die any longer. It was my intention to live. And that’s what my final solution entailed. To make sure I’d live, while letting everyone else think I died.

 

*****

It was such a handy little device I found on the same day I discovered the TARDIS. Something my family had acquired a long time ago, after fighting in one of the many wars between Time Lords and Daleks. Three lovely words that were the difference between life and death for me.

 

*****

Emergency.

Temporal.

Shift.


End file.
